The 2020 Pledge
This is slightly a longer script of the video above. Please note the correction from “Academy of Talent Development” to “Association of Talent Development.”
2020: The Year of Seeing Clearly
2020 is the future we’ve heard so much about in movies and books. Mission to Mars, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time all took place in 2020. The robot company in I, Robot was founded in 2020. There’s a lot to look forward to next year.
2020 isn’t just a year. It’s 20/20 is also perfect vision, so I’m calling next year “The Year of Seeing Clearly.” A year to reflect and focus on seeing things as they are. A year to reflect on our work habits and focus on prioritizing other things.
Here are three confessions to explain why I’m suggesting this work less live more theme for 2020.
1. I love to work.
2. I’m divorced.
3. On my ex-husband’s 28th birthday, instead of taking him out to dinner like I had promised, I sorted paper copies of inappropriate emails I had to evaluate for an email investigation I was doing at work.
For a workaholic, these are very common types of confessions.
As workaholics, we require our loved ones to see our preference for long workdays as a benefit to all involved.
We trade our health and hobbies for achievements and accolades, time with friends and family for pay increases and promotions. Sometimes we don’t even see what we’re giving up.
The way we do see it, the benefits outweigh the costs. I’ve almost always been the workaholic in my relationship and out-earned and out-achieved my partner. Obviously, I was doing the right things. They didn’t see it that way. They wanted more time with me, more time where they were the center of my attention.
One boyfriend was very vocal about how much I was working, but I didn’t take him seriously because he didn’t work enough to be credible.
It’s also hard to make the case against workaholism to a business owner, because their bottom line will almost always benefit from having a workaholic on staff. I’d argue that some businesses are wholly dependent on having workaholics in key positions.
I often say workaholism is the most socially acceptable and rewarded addiction on the planet.
Dr. Bryan E. Robinson, author on the subject, psychotherapist, and professor emeritus at the University of North Carolina, agrees. He calls workaholism “America’s best dressed addiction.” Others are calling it “the addiction of the century.”
Recently, someone asked me “What’s wrong with working a lot if you love what you do?” Here are two things.
· According to a survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, workaholism is one of the top 4 causes of divorce.
· OSHA reports that regularly working more than 12 hours a day makes you 37% more vulnerable to a workplace accident, even in an office.
Now, I haven’t loved everything about every job I’ve had, but they’ve all given me ways to contribute, to achieve, and to feel valuable. This is also common among workaholics. According to the University of Bergen, we tend to work to avoid or decrease our feelings of things like guilt, anxiety, depression, and helplessness.
Until this year, I prided myself on not taking any personal days. Seriously. Perfect attendance. Now I force myself to take at least one personal day per quarter, whether I think I need it or not.
I’ve also never taken all of my vacation days, even when I only got 2 weeks. I finally took a real vacation last year. I was 39 years old.
I’m not alone in this. 34% of Americans don’t take their vacation days. We’re the most productive country in the world, right?
This is all well and good, or terrible and dangerous, depending on your perspective. I’m one of those people who believes that you can’t just draw attention to a problem. You have to take action to improve it. Otherwise, what’s the point? If you don’t act, nothing gets better and you’re just complaining.
Here’s my idea - The 2020 Pledge.
The 20/20 Pledge is designed to be personalized. It asks you to look at your current habits and tendencies, the warning signs that tell you when you’re doing too much, and the signs that you’re striking the balance between work and life. It’s a framework to break old habits and build new ones.
In the book “Atomic Habits,” author James Clear gives us this advice: start with extremely small steps. For example, start your new workout routine by committing to getting dressed to work out every day and build from there.
The 2020 Pledge helps us draw out small, specific actions to get workaholic tendencies in back check so we can prioritize more things than our work. It’s not an elaborate plan that’s too big to execute or a meme-based inspiration to follow. Instead, it pulls apart the pieces that make up this over-dedication to our work and brings them into focus so we can improve.
That’s my goal for myself and for everyone else who might be giving their work a little too much of their time, energy, and value. The 2020 Pledge will be posted for free on www.hilaryconstable.com on December 1st. If you think you could benefit from making The 2020 Pledge, I hope you will.
When it comes to holding yourself accountable for your 2020 Pledge, the Association of Talent Development says you’re 65% more likely to achieve your goals when you commit to someone else. Research from NYU says it’s best to keep your goals to yourself.
I’ll leave that for you to decide, but know that I’m also ready to listen if you want to tell someone how you’re going to trade in some chunks of work for a little more life next year.